Hi all and welcome to the Worldnet report for the 2007 tournament.
Well it didn't seem that long ago that we'd just finished playing at Worldnet 2006 but time flies and it takes me forever to write a report so it probably was a long time ago.
This year we had two squads going up for the first time ever. That was great and gave everyone more of an opportunity to take part in more games. The total squad had started in the mid 30's for numbers of players but as the days got closer it kept decreasing and decreasing to the point we had about 28 confirmed on the Friday night.
With lifts arranged and everyone due to get there for at least kick-off at the second Leicester B game of the day, all was set. Only two idiots who had confirmed twice already that they would be playing and had plans made specifically for them didn't bother to turn up! All this despite two people going out of their way to collect them and also waiting 30 minutes for them to turn up! That was a bad start to the weekend - no loss whatsoever for the squad as a whole - but just annoying for people.
Leicester B was drawn in a group of 5 and it was a very tough group at that! This meant kick off at 8.30am for the first game and they were playing a team no one had ever heard of. Castle Rock from Ireland. With the two muppets unavailable the game kicked off with only 10 Leicester players on the pitch and we were 1-0 down before we managed to get 11 players sorted. I don't know what the team was made up of but Phil Bray and Paul McCudden were both called upon to make up the numbers which shows how bloody desperate they were. Rob Maybury hadn't turned up as he was a bit pished and the back four before Phil turned up was Kev B, Neil James and Michael Lax - struth!
I was obviously not at this game as I had more important things to do but I have been advised that we played very well and were unlucky not to win it. Of course the person who told me that was blind and was out walking his guide dog at the time. This same guy did volunteer to be linesman though.
Anyway with Paul McCudden, Lee Kasimos and Adam Mortimer all playing in this game and related in some way we were also asking for trouble. I have no idea who to blame for the three goals conceded but I'm going for the McCudden clan. The first goal was down to an interception after a bad pass by Lee Kasimos. The Castle Rock player then ran clear and outpaced Michael Lax, Kev B and Neil James (which let's face it a snail could do on a good day) and went round Derek who was still standing like he'd just got off his motorbike and slotted the ball home. 0-1
The second goal wasn't anyone's fault that I could find out but we'll blame Adam Mortimer for looking 12 years old. The third goal was just plain unlucky with one of their players taking a shot which was going wide, only to hit another of their players and deflect in. We should have stopped the shot in the first place but weren't good enough.
Now our goal was an absolute screamer from Jamie J (he should have been in the A team) as he blasted in his shot from 1 yard out. He can miss those so we should all be happy he didn't! Now apparently the 12 year old did well down the right, he passed the ball to Craig who had decided he was a striker (yeah right). Craig then beat one player (who was Irish we might add and was going the wrong way in the first place) and then put a perfect cross in for Jamie to convert. Craig (he should have been in the C team) was to have a very eventful tournament.
1-3 and a goal well deserved. The only other action from the game was from Paul McCudden (he should have been in the A team) who having beaten three players, on the turn, back heal, wrong foot and eyes closed (as per Stevie Parker's commentary) blasted a shot from 60 yards out only for the opposing keeper to brilliantly tip the ball over the bar.
It must be mentioned because Michael Lax says that Castle Rock made the final of the main Cup competition.
So that was the start to Worldnet 2007 and Leicester B had another game before Leicester A kicked off their tournament. Time to get the gazebo up and break it.
I did make it in time for game 2 although I did miss kick-off. The team now had their 11 players plus 2 subs and had put an interesting team out. With some people on the sideline trying hard not to say anything about the selections! But everyone on the sideline supported the B team and people like Paul McCudden (he should have been in the B team) made plenty of noise to get the team going. That was great to see.
The team for this one was Derek in goal, Michael Lax at left back, 12 - possibly 13 - year old Adam Mortimer at right back, Rob Maybury who was completely off his head and steadily got worse as the day went on at centre half alongside Kev B. The midfield was made up of Jamie J, James Knight, Chris Stenson and Lee Kasimos - all of whom appeared to be playing out of position (apart from Chris who was at centre mid but that is out of position for him these days) and Sam Shiels and Craig up front. In fact the only players who seemed to be in the correct position were Derek, Michael Lax and Sam Shiels and you could argue left right out was the proper place for some of them.
Arsenal Nigeria were the opposition and a lot of them had actually come from Nigeria. They brought their music with them and seemed to be enjoying themselves. This game was lost 2-0 with the first goal a ball over the top for their pacey striker to run on to and leave Kev B trailing and Rob Maybury wondering where he was. The second goal was the fault of Derek who unfortunately had a bad kick out and again their player showed his pace and finished clinically. Derek was now wondering where his hockey stick was as he'd get more distance hitting the ball with it.
Now this is not to say that Leicester B didn't have any chances because they sure did. Arsenal Nigeria were a very good attacking team but they had some frailties at the back and had Leicester B had a decent striker to play alongside Sam Shiels they might have done some more damage. As it was they had Craig who is really a centre half and should have been in the C team.
On a couple of occasions Jamie J (who should have been in the A team) looked like he was through for a one-on-one only for their defender to get a last ditch tackle in. Jamie J must be getting slower in his old age. Sam Shiels (who should have been in the A team) playing in front of his whole family was getting really stuck in putting his shoulder in and battling hard. He has also perfected the art of looking really pissed off. It must be mentioned he was also playing with a black eye after one of his mates had clocked him one - with friends like those who needs enemies?
Having slagged off the places everyone was playing in I must mention that after Kev B had done his usual thing of injuring his foot (as he always does) he made an amazing sliding challenge in the box to stop a clear goal scoring chance. (With tackles like that he should have been in the A team).
As already mentioned I'd arrived a little late so I asked how Derek was doing as I'd missed the goals. One of the lads who shall not be named said "he's pulled off one good save..........in the warm-up"
With about 5 minutes to go we got the chance to make the game very interesting. Sam Shiels (who should have been in the A team) having turned one of the Arsenal strikers in the box got hauled back and the referee gave a penalty. Sam was going to take it (I think) but Craig (who should have been in the C team) walked up and took the ball off of him (remember he IS a striker). Taking the ball off of Sam implies confidence but from the sideline there was very little confidence. Another person who shall not be named (but he's blond and supports Man Utd) said "over the top" without so much as a second thought. Craig stepped up and blasted it miles over the top into another hemisphere. He then had obviously been watching Sam's acting during the game and fell on the floor dramatically. Everyone on the sideline looked over at the blond Man Utd fan (who probably should have been in the B team) like it was his fault but it really wasn't. Leicester B just couldn't take pens to save themselves! They should have brought Neil James (who should have been in the A team) on - he'd have shown them.
As it was rather than have pressure on them, Arsenal Nigeria could play the game out and that is what they did. The final result being 0-2 but it could have been so much better.
It again must be mentioned because Michael Lax says so that Arsenal Nigera made it to the quarter final of the main Cup competition and lost to the eventual winners.
Now everyone could move pitches as the next game was Leicester A. There was still time for people to relax though under a very sick gazebo and on top of anyone's but their own bag so they wouldn't get wet. Paul McCudden was definitely the worst and he tried out about 4 different "pillows".
So time for Leicester A to play its first game of the tournament. We knew from past years that it was important to get a good start or else you are always playing catch up. More so for Leicester A because they were in a group of 4. First up was Ayr United - a team we had beaten before. The starting line up was Caddie in goal, Bernie M at left back, Ryan D at right back with Graham Jones and Phil B in the middle of defence. The midfield was Lee Stone on the left and Matt Hallam on the right with Paul McCudden and Sam Cobley in the centre. Up front were Luke H and Tom Measures. A very good and well balanced side. On the bench were Nick Ashman and Lee Brewin who both should have been in the B team.
We did start the game very well, we finished the game very well and we played well in the middle of the game as well but we were starting to believe it was going to be one of those days when nothing seemed to go right. We completely controlled the ball and Ayr hardly got a look in. Very early on after some great work down the right from Matt Hallam the ball was crossed over and it went right across the goal to Lee Stone who was screaming in from the left wing. Lee got to the ball about 3 yards out and somehow contrived to hit the post when it seemed easier to score. (With finishing like that he should have been in the B team) That was a let-off for Ayr and we continued to go easy on them for the rest of the game.
Another time in the first half Lee Stone (who had an eventful game) got away on the left, cut inside and unleashed a powerful shot only for the Ayr keeper to sit on the ball! It squirmed away a bit from him but he managed to collect it before anyone else could get to it and tap it into the net.
At the other end the defence had been coping pretty well but were almost getting caught with the pace of the Ayr striker as they tried the long ball through. Early in the first half the striker had knocked the ball over Caddie who was coming to meet the ball and it had gone goalwards but Bernie was able to get back and clear the ball. That was a warning which we didn't heed. Unfortunately for us the striker managed to get through on another occasion. The ball was played long and it just seemed to hold up. With Caddie (who should have been in the B team) rushing (by his standards) out of the goal and Ryan and Bernie all running towards the ball their striker got to it first and just dinked the ball towards goal. It looked like it was going to go wide but it just agonisingly and slowly curled into the bottom right hand corner of the net. 0-1 and against the run of play!
The way we were playing we knew we could still get that goal back and even go on and win it. 0-1 down at half time but 15 minutes to sort that out.
The second half was very much the same as the first as we completely pummelled them. We passed the ball through them using our midfield and continued to have chances. Lee went for a long run at one stage beating about 3 or 4 players which he thought was great but nothing came of it so who cares.
We then won a corner kick which was taken by Lee Stone. He purposely aimed for the tree and was successful hitting the branch. The ball bounced back down into play right in front of the goal. Ayr stopped but we played on and Graham Jones headed the ball into the net. The referee however stopped the game and made us take the corner again. Of course as Paul said we didn't really want to score a goal that way. The next corner was cleared by Ayr.
We had one more great chance to score with Luke H (who should have been in the B team) being put through on the right. He blasted a powerful shot at goal which was brilliantly tipped wide by the keeper. In the end it just wasn't to be and despite outplaying them we had lost 1-0. No idea how but football is a funny game.
The next game was Leicester B vs Mansfield and we had to wait around and do more damage to the gazebo in the meantime.
I never saw all of this game - fortunately - as we had to go and get ready for our game
The team was pretty much the same as last time and they'd already reminded us that at least they had scored a goal which is more that we had managed. Rob Maybury who probably should have been in the hospital team was playing at centre half and he still couldn't see straight. Kev B was his centre half partner and Kev can't think straight so they were quite a combination. Michael Lax who can't kick straight and Adam Mortimer who can't get in a pub without showing ID made up the rest of the back line. I should mention that Derek who can't kick at all was in goal.
The midfield was made up of in no particular order Jamie J who can't run with the ball, Chris Stenson who can't control the ball, James Knight who can't pass the ball and Lee Kasimos who really should have been in the A team.
Up front was Craig who let's be honest can't do a lot of things and Sam Shiels who can't score goals when his family are watching.
What a team - it's no bloody wonder they got hammered 4-1 (but hey - they scored a goal again).
Okay so where do I start with the shambles that was this football match? Well I guess I should explain the 4 goals conceded very quickly and then go into detail about the fantastic goal scored by us. Okay then - we were 1-0 down very early in the game when the Mansfield striker ran around Derek leaving him stranded again. The second goal was very disappointing but also very amusing to watch. Believe it or not we had an attacking corner which a lot of our players went up for. I think Lee Kasimos took the corner kick but it could have been Sam Shiels - whoever it was should have been in the B team as it was straight into their keepers arms. The keeper then hoofed the ball up the field and at this point the ground was still quite hard. Kev B tried to kick the ball on the full (thus attempting to end his own tournament by injuring his ankle once again) but missed (B team for him) and the ball then bounced high. Michael Lax covering behind like a good defender should do then attempted to show how good he was at ballet. He leapt in the air in a very unorthodox manner, shut his eyes and also completely missed the ball. This left the way open for the sole Mansfield attacker to run through and yes - you guessed it - run round the keeper and score. 2-0 down. What has happened to Derek - he has lost weight and now he is rubbish at one-on-ones?! I remember when he was substantially bigger and he used to make a large amount of saves from one-on-one situations. Perhaps this time around he was suffering from lack of practice! Don't worry - he was to get some more practice during this tournament.
I never saw goals three and four but I think they were all Derek's fault and possibly a bit of Craig's fault as well but I'm not quite sure how. Jamie J who I haven't slagged off at all yet must have been involved as well. He is Craig's mate after all!
Goals three and four (I was told) were partly down to bad kick-outs. I was also told that the hamburgers tasted great and I didn't believe that one either. Please note the person who told me the goals were down to bad kick-outs was none other than Rob Maybury and he just happened to tell me this in between bouts of the shakes and throwing up so whether that is what actually happened or whether he just imagined it in some really bad dream he was having I have no idea. To also put this into context Rob - after saying that the third goal was down to a bad kick-out by Derek - then claimed that the Mansfield striker was a mile offside! So maybe he was dreaming or maybe he just doesn't know the rules of football??
Anyways - on to our goal. And what a piece of magic it was! It was scored by our fantastic striker who should have been in the C team - Craig (who else). Although once again I have heard third hand how the goal actually came about so - James Knight (who told this particular tall story) was involved in a goal mouth scramble. Knighty smashed the ball towards the goal and the keeper somehow made a fantastic save with the ball coming out. (Now we know this story is complete crap already as we all know Knighty can't get anything on target). Knighty then got a second chance and smashed it again - this time a Mansfield defender got in the way clearing the ball off the line (still not very realistic because Knighty getting a shot on target once is a complete Fluke, him getting a shot on target twice - and in quick succession - is a complete impossibility). Anyways (and here is the only part of the story that is realistic), the ball came out from this defenders goal-line clearance, hit Craig who knew nothing about it at all and went into the net. So 1-4 and the B team had now scored 2 goals to the A teams zippo.
Time to prove them wrong and score some goals.
Leicester A's second game was against another Scottish side - Aberdeen. Now Aberdeen had apparently gone a bit over the top on Friday night and had been banned from next years competition so they were extra keen to play well in this game. And we let them. Personally I blame Paul McCudden who convinced our captain to change the formation - it never worked. Caddie was in goal, Bernie was playing as sweeper with Ryan D, Nick A and Graham Jones playing in the back three. Or was it a back three? Who was on the right side and who was on the left and who was in the middle?? And was there a middle and was there a left side or were there two in the "centre" and one on the right? Or was there a right side? These are all questions that were asked of Phil Bray by Caddie, Graham, Ryan, Bernie, Luke H, Nick and Tom Measures. But was it really a back three? That is a question that we will never know the answer of.
The midfield was Matt Hallam, Sam Cobley, Paul McCudden and Lee Stone and up front were Tom Measures and Luke H. Tom had a shocker of a game because he was too busy concentrating on whether we were playing with a back three or not. He should have been in the B team.
We never really got into this game and there are lots of people to blame for it but the sweeper wasn't one of them.
We conceded a goal early on in the first half and this was clearly the fault of Ryan D who by now had managed to avoid fatigue but who really should have been in the B team. He was defending when the Aberdeen striker turned him way too easily and then banged the ball in the net on Caddies's inside post - so Caddie was also clearly at fault too.
We hit back almost immediately when we were awarded a somewhat dubious penalty. Paul McCudden got into the box with the ball (as you do) and turned the defender who then breathed on him in the wrong way. The referee some way off the play gave a penalty. Aberdeen weren't impressed. Paul then took the penalty - very well - and scored to make it 1-1. I don't know if we deserved that but it was 1-1 at half time and we were still in it. A draw may have been sufficient if we could beat Watford B but we were going for a win. The half time team talk centred on whether we were playing a back three or not.
The second half never really worked for us and we didn't help ourselves much. We conceded pretty quick into the second half when Aberdeen were attacking we had the chance to clear the ball but Paul McCudden had other ideas - he apparently slipped when he could have cleared the ball and let it run to an Aberdeen player who didn't need a second invitation. He scored and we were 2-1 down. Paul should have been in the B team.
Not long later we were 3-1 down and once again it was self-inflicted. Lee Stone got the ball in our own area (he had done well to make a tackle there) but then somehow he decided to slowly play the ball out and passed it straight to another Aberdeen player who thought all his Christmas's had just come at once and blasted the ball towards goal. It still wasn't the greatest of shots but Caddie decided to dive over the top of the ball and it hit the back of the net. So Caddie at fault again - I'm seeing a common theme here.
Time for Phil to make some changes to the team and we definitely weren't playing three at the back but whatever formation we were now playing that never worked either and we lost the game 3-1. Still we had at least scored a goal now. The B team were more than happy to point out we hadn't yet scored in open play. What a nice supportive bunch they were.
As the draw was all a bit weird the A team had another game against Watford B before the B team so they got to remind us they had scored more goals than us before kick off.
The team was a bit different for this one. Caddie remained in goal although who knows why, Bernie was at left back now as we'd given up on the back three as it clearly didn't work. Lee Brewin was debuting at right back, Nick Ashman and Phil Bray were in the centre of defence. The midfield was made up of Paul McCudden, Sam Cobley, Matt Hallam now on the left and the tired one Ryan Dawkins on the right. Up front were Lee Stone and Luke H. Tom was on the sideline still trying to make out whether the last game had had a back three or not and whether he would have done the same.
This is the game that helped decide the formation for the following day so it must have worked somehow - even if we didn't get the result in this particular game.
Once again we knew it wasn't going to be our day as we totally dominated from start to finish but ended up on the wrong end of a 1-0 scoreline! Most of the action happened in the second half but there were a few good attacking moments in the first half. Both wings were used well and Bernie intercepted a ball from the Watford B right back, he then ran down the left and got into the box and then laid the ball back - unfortunately no one was there to have a shot. Later in the same half Lee Brewin bulldozed his way down the right beating a lot of players. It was a great run but that left him completely knackered and it took him a further 3 hours to recover from it.
It was 0-0 at half time and the second half was very eventful. Unfortunately we conceded early again with the Watford B striker just getting clear and with Caddie rushing off of his line once again and being beaten to the ball again. He should have been in the B team. Someone on the sideline said that Caddie was way too slow off of his line but I wasn't telling him that.
We then went into overdrive and went for an equaliser. Once again we had plenty of chances and once again we couldn't get the ball into the back of the net. Our first chance fell to Tom Measures (who had come on at half-time) after we won a free-kick. He like Craig had done to Sam, pushed Paul McCudden out of the way so he could take the free kick. The wall was taken back the required distance and the stage was set for Tom to become a hero. He moved back and lined up his shot and then he ran in and whack!! The ball went into the orbit of another hemisphere. Not only did it go into orbit it also went miles and miles wide. It was truly truly awful. I mean think of the worst free kick you have ever seen and then multiply it by ten. So bad in fact that he shouldn't have even been in the B team! Oh well - at least everyone got a good laugh out of it.
Now I like to slag off Paul McCudden all the time because he is quite rubbish really but he did fluke some great skill in this game. He actually turned on the run with a great flick and beat the Watford player all ends up. Of course no one scored from it so who really cares but it was a great piece of work.
Anyways back to Tom Measures and he couldn't keep out of the game. Perhaps he was trying to make up for that free kick which was truly truly awful if I haven't already mentioned that. He had a few more chances. The first chance was when the ball was banged across the goal at great speed by Lee Stone - Tom flung himself at the ball but just missed it. Any sort of touch from a normal striker would have been a goal. I'm not sure what would have happened if Tom had got to it.
Tom wasn't finished there, he was sent through on the right and had a powerful shot which just went wide. Now Tom realising his shot was also pretty woeful claimed a corner. Whether the keeper got his hand to the ball or not is debatable but he might have done.
There was still time for Tom to get through one more time. He rounded the keeper but went so wide the only thing he could do was play the ball back across goal. Unfortunately no one was there to put the ball into the back of the net and the Watford player managed to clear it.
So once again we had lost a game we should have won. And we now knew that it was an early start the next morning as we were last in our group. As disappointed as we were at least the B team were there to make us feel even worse. We've scored more goals than you and in open play so that means we are better than you and we should have been in the A team. AND as Michael liked to point out they apparently played better teams than us so the A team must have been rubbish - or just a little bit unlucky. Okay the B team weren't that bad but I am sure they were thinking it - I would have been.
Time for one last game and it was against clearly the two worst teams in their group - Leicester B and Brentford. There was still time before kick-off for the free-kick takers of the B team to ask Tom Measures for advice on how it is done.
One last chance for either team to win a game today. And if Leicester B managed a draw due to goal difference they'd be in the same draw as Leicester A the next day - great stuff.
The B team was all over the place again with its team selections and I can't remember who was playing where. Kev B had passed the captaincy band to Jamie J because he was sick of losing and it being all his fault. So the team that I can remember was Derek in goal, Adam Mortimer at right back, Chris Stenson (back where he belongs at not centre midfield), what appeared to be Knighty somewhere in defence and presumably Kev B. Mind you Michael Lax was playing in this game as well but he came off injured early (and that explains why the team started to play well). Lee K was playing in this game as well as some sort of midfielder. Jamie J appeared to be there too. Sam Shiels was definitely playing up front. Gawd knows where Craig was playing but it was on the pitch which wasn't where Rob Maybury was. Rob was somewhere throwing up what he had left in his stomach which was pretty much nothing. Neil James had come on as an impact player when Michael Lax was injured. Matt Hallam who is easy to forget was also making up the numbers for the B team. He was in the midfield as well. Is that everyone? So what is that - 5 defenders, 5 midfielders and 3 strikers!
So this was a good game and Leicester B played well but boy that must have meant Brentford were really bad.
Okay so what happened in the game in no particular order.
We went 1-0 up early on after a pretty farcical own goal. I guess the B team were now claiming the A team hadn't made their opposition score an own goal either. This goal was scored by one of the Brentford defenders after the keeper made a save and pushed the ball out which hit the defender and then went in.
Also in the game Matt Hallam who was supposed to be pretty forgettable had a good left footed effort on goal which was deflected wide. Chris Stenson (who should have been in the A team) was clearing up really well at the back and took a leaf out of Kev B's book by making a great sliding challenge in the box.
At 1-0 up Brentford had a great chance to score but Kev B (who clearly should have been in the A team) made one of the greatest goal line clearances ever seen. The ball was smashed straight at goal and was going in the top corner when Kev shut his eyes jumped in the air and headed the ball over the crossbar.
Brentford also hit the crossbar with a shot in the second half so the B team were definitely having all the luck - lucky bastards.
To show how much luck the B team were having - Derek made a save! Brentford had a good shot / cross and it was travelling at some speed and Derek just plucked the ball out of the air very casually like he does that all the time. It was a good save - very surprising that.
Knighty was having a storming game and clearly should have been in the A team. He was defending really well making some great challenges and then he went on the run of the day. He got the ball in our own half, did a lovely little flick to beat one player, then beat another player followed by another and the big bumbling oaf just kept running. He beat another player and as he got closer to the goal and as he had beaten about 7 players he made the mistake of thinking. And that was the end of that when it came to a chance of scoring - Knighty thought! So that was about when he lost the ball. Good run though.
Okay - so time for Craig who should have been in the C team to come to the fore. This was in the second half and with the team still leading 1-0 and playing very well. The B team were still attacking and looking to kill the game off. Jamie J was also playing really well in this game and he should have been in the A team. He broke away on the right after a fantastic cross field ball from Lee K who should have been in the A team. He then played the ball across the field to Craig who was clearly offside. Craig who obviously doesn't know the rules and should have been in the C team was not happy with the linesman.
He was even less happy when being an idiot he let it happen again. I know he is ridiculously slow but with the space he had, he just needed to keep back a few yards. Jamie J had broken clear on the right again and again he played the ball across to Craig who was once again given offside. Rather unimpressed with this second decision because he was apparently a good 5 yards onside - yeah, anyways Craig decided to verbally disagree with the linesman by swearing at him. The linesman asked him what he had said so being very polite Craig repeated it word for word. The referee was called over and the first ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever red card was given to an Internet Fox. What a complete muppet.
Well I have been saying that Craig was only fit for the C team anyway and Leicester B actually played better with him off the park. Jamie J who was still having a storming game got free on the right again - man they must have been bad on the left - and this time he kept going and with Sam Shiels free and staying onside like any sensible STRIKER would do, Jamie J was a greedy bugger and went for goal himself finishing well for a change to also finish the game 2-0.
A great result which was mainly down to the fact that Michael Lax came off early and Craig was sent off.
End of day one and an early start for both teams the following day.