NetBaloos (Birmingham) 1 Internet Foxes 1 Date: 17th September 2005 Venue: Bickenhill Recreation Ground (Birmingham)
Time for the third game of the season for us and a week after the loss to
Grimsby a chance to get back to winning ways.
The people travelling to Birmingham were pretty much in three cars and all
of them met at Fosse Park although that wasn't neccesarily planned.
Jimmy who is missing a bit upstairs had forgotten his boots and was at the
wrong house anyway so he was no longer coming. Fortunately (although not for
him) Matt had collared the other Danny to come along and play.
With Tom Bonsall pulling out at the last minute due to work commitments we
were down to only eleven players.
Easy selection policy for Phil Bray - well you'd think anyway! I was in the
car with him and Nick Ashman and the talk along the way was of Phil 'I'm not
the England coach' Bray and his various different formations.
4-4-2, 3-5-2, 4-3-3, 4-2-2-2, 4-3-2-1, 10-0-0, 0-0-10, 0-10-0
It was great conversation and Gawd knows what Phil ended up deciding!
We all made it to the ground okay and as always all the local players were
the last to arrive. In fact the Birmingham players that were there already
were from all over the country excluding Birmingham!
We all got changed and out on to the pitch. We did our usual warm-ups - i.e.
none - and got ready for kick-off.
Fortunately Birmingham had a ref and due to no one having a linesman we
played obvious offsides only. So there was only the one offside given all
match and that was against Danny because he's mates with Jimmy and mustn't
have much upstairs either!
We kicked off with the team set out as a 5-3-2. Now that wasn't even
mentioned earlier!
Antonis was in goal, the defence was Kev B on the left, Danny M on the
right, Phil B, Stevie P and Nick A in the middle with Stevie P man marking
one of the Birmingham strikers.
In the middle of the park was Matt H, Chris S and Bernie M with Bernie
pushing on. Up front we had Jamie J and the other Danny.
The game started pretty well and it was clear early on that this was our
third game and Birmingham's first game. We were passing the ball a little
better and winning the 50/50's. Our defence started solid and stayed that
way, our midfield were battling well for the ball and the attack was causing
problems - especially Jamie's pace.
Jamie was sometimes almost getting through only for a last ditch tackle to
be made by the Birmingham defence.
They were also having a few chances up front with a couple of their centre
midfielders holding the ball well and laying it off to their strikers or
wingers. Fortunately the ball often went too long or our defence got in the
way. With the scores at 0-0 Matt H got the ball in the midfield. Bernie
immediately span away to the right and Matt spotted it playing a beautiful
long ball through which went in between the defender and the goalie. Bernie
used his speed to get behind the defender and with the oncoming keeper
rushing out Bernie just passed the ball by him and it went into the net. A
good finish from about 15 yards out and on an angle by not using power and
going for direction.
A good goal and we were 1-0 up and playing pretty well.
Not long later we should have been 2-0 up. Jamie J had done another great
run and got the ball ahead of the keeper way out on the right. Realising
that he couldn't score from there and with both Bernie and the other Danny
calling for the ball Jamie banged it into the middle of the box. The ball
fell to the other Danny who (having been gloating about a record of 3 in 3
before the game) mishit the ball wide when it may have been easier to score.
It was a great clearance though!
At the other end the Birmingham striker that Stevie P was supposed to be
marking got played through by their midfielder a little wide on the right,
he took a quick shot but fortunately the ball went wide of the goal.
Both teams had corners and set pieces which amounted to goal mouth scrambles
but that amounted to nothing. Antonis was doing his best to concede a goal
by constantly yelling “Keeper” (which was good) and then dropping the ball
(which was bad), fortunately our defenders hooked the ball clear when this
happened (which is good).
We always felt that the chances would come and with Jamie causing all sorts
of problems with his pace we used the break well when we got the ball off
the Birmingham strikers. On one occasion Bernie broke free but with the
defence all converging he took a snap shot which went miles over the top. A
terrible miss but it was from a distance and the ball was ridiculously light
/ flat. Unfortunately the next passage of play was the defining moment for this game
as Leicester broke away and the ball made its way into the Birmingham box.
Their keeper rushed out and the other Danny went for the ball. They bumped
into each other with the other Danny getting his leg caught under the keeper
and falling awkwardly. There was nothing wrong with the challenge and the
ball went out towards the sideline. The other Danny cried out in pain and
the Birmingham players put the ball out for a throw.
The other Danny was in a lot of pain and thought he had broken his leg. He
was carried off the pitch and left on the sideline to rot while the rest of
us got on with the more important thing of playing a game of football.
And the game must go on and so it did. The problem being the Internet Foxes
were now down to 10 men for 60 odd minutes. Time for Sven Goran Bray to come
up with new tactics and after consulting some guy by the sideline who just
happened to be walking his dog and for who knew nothing at all about
football, Sven came up with a new formation.
I can’t remember what is was it was so obscure but it meant players swapping
and moving all over the place including totally unfamiliar positions on the
field. Sounds like Sven.
The team now became a kind of a 4-1-3-1 formation with a player just in
front of the defence and just Jamie playing up front. At least that’s what I
think it was.
To make matters worse (or better depending on which way you look at it!)
Nick A now had an injury after straining a calf muscle. He had to go in goal
and Antonis came out on to the pitch in what was his first game since
Worldnet 2004!
The good news coming from this was we were going to see some Greek dives for
the first time in absolutely ages – oh how we have missed them.
So the new team had Nick in goal, Kev on the left, Phil B and Bernie in the
middle of defence and Danny on the right. Stevie P was just in front of the
defence although he had been told to continue his man marking job. Chris S,
Matt H and Antonis were in the middle of the park, Jamie J was up front on
his own.
The game continued to flow well and the IF’s were now relying on the break
and Jamie to use his pace. On a number of occasions Jamie managed to beat
one or two players but couldn’t get past the third. He was winning the odd
corner though and we caused them problems with well taken corners.
Birmingham were taking advantage of the extra man though and they definitely
started to get more time on the ball. They were passing it about well but we
managed to cut out anything and block any shots that were made and despite
having more of the play they didn’t have too many goal scoring chances.
In fact with about 5 minutes to go in the half we had the best chance to
increase our lead. After another set piece we had a few of our taller
players in the box. The ball fell kindly to Phil Bray. Phil beat two
defenders by attacking the ball and the ball ricocheted well for him. He was
now right in front of goal and about 6 yards out with only the keeper to
beat. Now Phil had time to look up and pick his spot – in fact Jamie’s
girlfriend had time to run over to Phil and hand him a cup of tea and a
chocolate biscuit. Phil had time to drink the cup of team, eat the biscuit
and even start reading the days paper before he lined up the shot and
scuffed it wide. Now it wasn’t just wide, it was miles wide. The keeper
wasn’t worked and the ball ran off down the slope where some poor Birmingham
lad had to go off and collect it.
Cries of despair could be heard in Wolves. Phil had his hands on his head –
and so he should.
As he made his way back to our defensive line he said to Bernie “I’ll give
you a tenner to leave that out of the report”. Bad luck mate – it was just
too good to miss out of the report!
Not much else happened in the half after that and the whistle was blown for
halftime. 1-0
Time to get our breath back, have a drink, listen to Phil cursing himself
forevermore and may be even time to go over and see how the other Danny was
doing.
An ambulance was called so the other Danny wasn’t doing too well. Shame but
we had a game to play so we left him still rotting on the sideline and got
ready to kick off for the second half.
Birmingham kicked off and we had the same formation as just before half
time, Sven having not changed his mind yet.
The second half was very much as expected. Birmingham pushed on looking for
the equaliser using their extra player advantage; we held on and defended as
best we could while hoping for a break and for Jamie to use his pace.
We always knew Jamie would win a corner or two which were good goal scoring
opportunities for us.
The game continued to be very competitive with the IF’s defending very well
and really only allowing shots from a distance. Most were blocked but on one
occasion one of the Birmingham strikers volleyed the ball brilliantly, only
for it just to go over the top. Nick said he had it covered – the cripple!
We continued to defend well although it often seemed the ball was constantly
coming straight back as us. Bernie was taking plenty of goal kicks which
meant Birmingham could shoot about as good as us, it also meant they were
kept to long balls and passes that were going just a little too far.
Matt Hall was demanding the ball as always in midfield but on some occasions
he was trying a little too much and sometimes we were passing the ball
across the goal which was asking for trouble but we managed to avoid any
silly mistakes which was very lucky with our lot!
Antonis had been battling brilliantly in midfield for someone who hadn’t
played much recently and he sometimes got us a breather (and in the spirit
of our Greek signings) when he knocked the ball past one of the Birmingham
players, the Birmingham player breathed on Antonis and he fell over in a
heap yelling out at the same time. Fabulous stuff – not as good as Notis at
Worldnet a few years ago but still good.
Jamie had been doing a great job up front on his own and caused the
Birmingham defence to have up to three players marking him when he got the
ball But by now the team was tiring a little and Birmingham’s pressure was
building. With about ten minutes to go and with Birmingham never giving up
they got the breakthrough. The ball was bouncing about in the box and Phil B
and Stevie P got a little confused (easy for them) as to who should clear
the ball. In the end Stevie P did a half clearance. Unfortunately the ball
hit the striker Steve had been giving no time on the ball and it went back
towards goal. With a cripple in goal (although he wouldn’t have got it
anyway) their striker did very well to get to the ball first and poke it
over Nick to make the scores 1-1.
Now IF’s of old probably would have given up by now any way playing with 10
men. This isn’t the IF’s of old. Instead of letting heads drop, everyone
worked that bit harder, not only to maintain a draw, but also to push for
the win.
Sven made his first good choice of the day and sent Bernie back into
midfield to attack a bit more. Jamie now had a bit more support to pressure
the Birmingham defence and also to attack when we had the ball.
And in the last five minutes we had the best chances to win the game.
Jamie J dispossessed one of their defenders and ran on goal, with the keeper
coming out he had a left-footed shot towards goal. It looked like he’d got a
deserved goal right as it was heading for the top left hand corner –
unfortunately it just went wide by an inch.
And with about a minute to go in the game the ball went long towards goal,
Bernie chased it down and beat the defender to the ball. He turned towards
the goal and a one-on-one with the keeper but the keeper had come out and
stood up well blocking any opportunity of a shot.
Jamie J ran into the box but one of the Birmingham defenders back-tracked
well and cut that option out. Matt H was yelling for the ball and Bernie
passed it back to him, unfortunately Matt over hit the ball and with
pressure from the keeper, it went out for a goal kick.
That was the last attack of the game.
A very much deserved draw and really with the better clear cut chances we
should have won the game. The Birmingham players all thought we looked like
we had just lost but there was nothing to be ashamed of – it had been a
brilliant team performance from a side that only had 10 men for 60-odd
minutes. Everyone gave 100% and got stuck in. No one gave up and everyone
played well which definitely makes a change!
Ratings:
The other Danny: 0/10 – Well what a terrible game for the poor bloke. Missed
an absolute sitter after boasting about his goalscoring ability and then
(when lets face it, he should have been quicker to the ball in the first
place) badly injuring his leg in a challenge with the keeper. This meant he
had to go to the sideline to rot and off to the hospital in an ambulance –
while he should have at least had the decency to go in goal for us and allow
us to play on with 11 men. Very disappointing commitment from the other
Danny and we’ll have to have words with him the next time he turns out for
us.
Danny McCulloch: 8/10 – Another very solid performance from Danny. Much
better than the guy with the same name as him. Got stuck in as always and
won most challenges. Never pulls out of a tackle and distributed the ball
very well – except when he bloody well passes the ball across the goal to
Kev or Stevie P – both who we well know panic big time and just try and get
rid as soon as possible. Still passes the ball to Matt H too much!
Matt Hall: 4/10 – And he gave me that rating himself. He was not happy with
his performance at all which is good because he was completely shite. Okay,
may be that is a bit harsh. Ran the midfield as always and it a great outlet
for the defence (excluding Kev B and Stevie P who panic and just hoof the
ball and excluding Phil B who splices the ball away when clearing it) – okay
rephrase that, is a good outlet for Danny who passes the ball to him too
many times any way! Matt distributes the ball very well and it was a great
long pass for the goal. He does tend to piss about with the ball a bit too
much and tries a few too many flicks – he’s get on well with Chris Foster
and Paul McCudden! Matt should have scored the winning goal at the end but
blew it. Come to think of it he was right, he had a terrible game.
Jamie Johnson: 8/10 - The best game we’ve ever seen him play. That isn’t
saying much however. Would have got another point but he loses a point for
not really spitting the dummy at all during the game. This is something we
expect for entertainment value and is desperately disappointing. He did lie
on the ground for ages after he missed the chance right at the end and it
did look like he was going to cry, but that doesn’t count in my book. There
seemed to be no mumble mumble mumbles in this game but I might have missed
them as I was defending for a lot of the game. Jamie gave 120%, ran non stop
for the entire game and had 2 to 3 defenders on him at all times. He caused
them all sorts of problems, won us a lot of corners which we were dangerous
at and just never gave up on any ball. He harried their defenders and goalie
and he deserved that last chance to go in for all the hard work he had done
– but it was a crap shot and it wasn’t to be – these things happen. Move on!
Antonis Veletas: 8/10 – Welcome back to the Greeks!!!! Oh how we missed
them. Now all we need to do is convince John to come back and we’ll have a
double diving act. Now what we want to see is a dive in tandem by the both
of them, they’ve got to yell out as well – I think John is better at yelling
out when someone gets within 2 yards of him. That would be pretty
impressive. Oh the game, yeah – Antonis was playing his first game since
July 2004 which is a pretty impressive injury break. He started the game in
goal, didn’t really have to make a save, dropped the ball a lot and put the
team under pressure – so it was good when he went into the outfield. He
played as a defensive midfielder and did a brilliant job cutting a lot of
attacks out and winning the ball a lot of the time. His distribution was a
little slow but that was partly because he hadn’t played for so long and
partly because he wanted to invite the Birmingham players within 5 yards of
him so he could agggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhh *acrobatic dive with head thrown
backwards and legs flying in the air* . Did very well and made a big
difference in the midfield. Hopefully we’ll see more of him in the future.
Bernie Muollo: 9/10 – What a goal! And had the other Danny not piked out
through injury, Bernie probably would have had a hat-trick. The team
certainly lost a lot of its go forward when he was pulled back to defend
after Nick piked out through injury too. Attacked well and caused trouble
with his pace – because he still has some you know - and defended well but
probably should have scored the winning goal at the end – perhaps should
have been more greedy and gone himself. Should have been intelligent enough
to know passing the ball to Matt when he was playing crap was a bad idea at
the end.
Phil Bray: 3/10 – And that’s generous! Seriously – have taken off points
because he’s the Sven of our team. Phil played very well and defended like
his life depended on it. He made a lot of great challenges and he marshalled
the defence brilliantly. He’s one of the main reasons we only conceded the
one goal and should take a lot of credit for that. Now for the fun part.
What a miss!!! He really should have thought he was in front of his own
goal, he certainly would have put it in the net then! I was with one of the
Birmingham strikers at the time of the miss and he said “He miscues the ball
a lot doesn’t he?!” at which I replied “I’ve never seen him hit the ball
straight in 8 years”. Besides the missed chance it has to be said that a
good 80% of Phil’s clearances / passes went straight out for a throw due to
a miscue. For him, that is a good percentage really.
A great captain and a great player and will be re-living that miss for about
the next 3 years. Poor bloke!
Nick Ashman: 4/10 – And that’s generous! Another useless git who got injured
meaning the flow of the team was lost and everything changed. At fault with
the goal because he took so long to come off the line (on one leg). Defended
really well while he was fit and made a big difference at the back. Was
hindered in goal due to the injury so didn’t take goal kicks, didn’t kick
the ball up the field, didn’t save the ball and didn’t catch it either – so
really did naff all. We’re lucky Birmingham are as good as shooting as we
are. Only conceded the one goal so we’ll give him credit for that, also was
willing to play in goal despite the injury so deserves credit for that. I’m
clutching at straws now. Gave me a lift to and from the game – that’s good.
Stevie Parker: 8/10 – Fabulous game from the versatile (i.e. crap) defender.
Man marked his player out of the game except for when he scored which means
Steve did a poor job despite the other 89 minutes of great work. Defended
well and played in front of the back four – kinda. Communicated well when he
had to move from side to side following his player and did a lot of running.
Does panic way too much when the ball is passed to him by Danny M and its
funny / painful watching him try to clear it. Cleared the ball loads of
times and seemed to cut out everything that came his way. Probably would
have cleared the ball that caused the goal better had Phil not got in his
way. But he didn’t and they scored – so really despite having a great game
it is all Steve’s fault we didn’t win. May be I should take more points off?
Kev Batchelor: 7/10 – Another great performance by our new left fullback.
Although he ran out of steam at the end is clearly unfit. Must be getting on
a bit in age and can’t handle it. Kev got stuck in as always and made a lot
of great challenges. Kept the attacks down his wing to a minimum and played
a part in a very important rear guard action after the usless other Danny
went off. Did quite a few of his sliding challenges as he always does and
didn’t give away any silly free-kicks which is always a bonus – he normally
does at least one a match. Does panic way too much when the ball is passed
to him by Danny M and its funny / painful watching him try to clear it. A
great player to have in the side but seriously needs to work on his fitness
because he ain’t getting any younger!
Chris Stenson: 7/10 – Our versatile (read crap) midfielder who always seems
to be playing out of position. He got his way this time though and played
the full game at centre midfield. Once again used his skills of distribution
to play through balls for Jamie to run on to. Also did his fair share of
back-tracking and defending, cutting out their potential attacks from the
middle. Chris played well alongside Matt but probably passed Matt the ball a
bit too much. Had to battle away as with our defences crap distribution the
ball was always being cleared well over his head and then always coming back
again. Needs to work with Stevie P and Kev B and get them to practice
passing the ball to his feet. There is no point working with Phil B and his
kicking, Phil’s well past help.